I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
