that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Randomize
