Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize