at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
