brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
someone get that fucking seahorse.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Randomize