i think i have herpe
just one?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
