Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize