So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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