I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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