Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I just found puke in my bra..
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I can't trust your balls anymore.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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