Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
