i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
