i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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