i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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