would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
