We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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