just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
