This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
