they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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