Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
