It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
