I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
