woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
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