Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
