dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Randomize
