Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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