I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
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