I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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