He is such a slut. More and more my type.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I think my moral compass just broke
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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