I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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