we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
