the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
