I should be sponsored by Trojan
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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