my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
