dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize