apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
