I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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