Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
