Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
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