I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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