I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
sarcasm needs its own font
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
