I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
