He is such a slut. More and more my type.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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