he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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