Don't you send me to vm
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
