i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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