And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
