his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
