they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
You may now shotgun with the bride
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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