people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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