I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
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