My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
