Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
