he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
