she looked like the before picture.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
