nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
