It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
stop calling my apartment porn island.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
