i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize