Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
