it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
