yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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