new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
