32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
