Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
