i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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